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The World Is My Oyster….But I Think I’m Allergic To Shellfish

I’m not going to say I’m back or make any promises to write steady…I want to but things in my life have changed so much. First and foremost the man I spent seven years with is no longer in my life. I could go on and on explaining all the reasons why but as I see it they are the same reasons so many couples just dont stay together and at this time its a moot point….things just happened…or didn’t. The thing is we were doing it amicably at least it started that way, planning a date he was looking for a new place I was lining up roommates then wham it happened two months earlier than planned and it was anything but amicable. Shit happens….that’s really all I have to say.

My 23 year old son also moved out…that’s harder to deal with because he’s my baby boy but he’s smart and I can bug him everyday. *smiles* But this post isn’t a diary of events that have happened or why I’m busy its a post of optimism, of new beginnings. I woke up the other day and cried…not out of sadness but because I had nothing to really be sad about, I won’t go so far to say I was happy but I felt okay, I also realized I was almost 40 and I still ask myself “what am I going to do with my life” well I kinda missed that boat twenty years ago, time to get over it and get on with it. So I came to terms with the fact that I’m a little old to be planning a career, or a new family, and maybe I will never be a rock star, but all the other things like traveling to Paris and Ireland and taking a cruise, walking on a tropical beach, hot air ballooning and taking my daughter to Disney World these are things that are all still possible, the only thing stopping me now is…me. I’ve lived so long for others, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, or just trying to do and be who I thought I was expected to be that I neglected to live my life, do ANYTHING that I wanted. So now is my chance, this is day one, I may not make it to Paris but I’m going to get as far as I can in the time I have left.

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Not Apropriate For Felines Under The Age Of Two

We have only one cat now, but sometimes having one very good cat is better than multiple average cats. Theres only one problem with Nim the amazing well behaved cat…….it has decided it wants a career…….and that career is in Kitty Porn. I know it’s terrible, I’ve tried to talk sense into Nim, but to no avail. I finally have just given in to Nim’s wishes and am helping launch a series of photos we like to call… Nim Sexy
Once again this is not apropriate for felines under the age of two.

Nim starts off with a smoldering over the shoulder glance.

Nim would like to make other felines aware that Nim is altered and isn’t hung up on gender issues.

Nim’s owner would like you to know that I am not nuts and I do not pose Nim ever I just shoot the pictures of the poses that greet me each time I see my cat.

Depending on the popularity of the Nim Sexy series we will continue to post new shots as they become available.

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The Sick Just Keep Getting Sicker

I don’t usually do horrible sick things on my blog, I tend to try to keep things light, I figure life is messed up enough for the most part I don’t need to add to it with what I think is horrible but this article is local and so disturbing to me as a Girl Scout leader myself and a mother of a daughter that I had to put it on here.

Please be advised this is not for children to read. Article

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Maybe It’s Cynical Optimist’ ?

Markus and I have a lot of conversations, many are mundane and just day to day blathering of family, but more often than not I find myself thinking “Man if anyone else were around right now they wouldn’t understand half of what we say.” Not because it’s so weird, or some kind of mother son code formed over the years, mostly just because of whom we are as people. For example typical evening, I’m digging in the fridge getting dinner ready.

Markus: See what was on WOOT today?
Me: Oh yeah the two pack of USB missile launchers?
Markus: Yeah.
Me: I was so going to buy those so you and Patrick (his co-worker) could blast each other.
Markus: That would have been cool. I have to get around to building my desktop wooden catapult one of these days.
Me: Yeah.

That’s just one example; we have had many, probably more unusual conversations over the years, and not just conversations. I have taught Markus things of course and in turn he has taught me things, like terminology, he can use words in unique ways I have never heard before! Or like brand new ways of looking at people, as in the other night I called him a pessimist and he said “No I feel I’m more of an optimist.” and I said “Well maybe, but your definitely a cynic.” and he looks at me funny and says “Yeah, I’m an optimistic cynic….I believe it will work, but when it does I’m not going to like it.”

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Ahhh Crap There’s Sweat In My Eye’s!

Man time flies’ whether you’re having fun or not. I’ve been adding to my collection of crap I don’t really need lately, but I find reasons to justify my shopping addiction. For instance I bought four of the cutest new sweat suits and a pair of charcoal grey Rocket Dog shoes because I have made it to the gym every weekday for three weeks. That seems like a terribly good reason to go blow some cash, the fact that this weekend I am picking up the Xbox 360 game Left For Dead and some speaker stands for my surround sound system, well I will have to come up with another reason why I deserve those things, like I need the game to continue to work on my zombie killing skills….because you know a zombie invasion is imminent, and the stands will hold the speakers that go behind my couch so I can …uh…work on…well I will come up with something.

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This Is Why I Shouldn’t Receive Books For Christmas

I have had my nose buried in the new Stephen King that I got for Christmas, it was fantastic! The only problem is I received several books for Christmas and I barely take a breath and I am diving headlong into the next ‘juicy’ (um eww) tale which is The Living Dead, a collection of zombie stories. I do love my zombies! It features some of my favorite writers like Clive Barker, George R.R. Martin and The King of course. Along with trying to read every free second I have I am currently sitting on a Stayball created by Gold’s Gym that I wanted to trade my task chair for so all the sitting at the computer I do might have some beneficial effect on my quickly deteriorating back.

I have also been making tons of smoothies and toast, while playing really awesome whole family games of Rock Band 2 on the 360 and getting to know my new Canon camera so I can get some pictures as proof. (Or blackmail material!) At night I have been falling blissfully into my bed covered in a new bedding set that matches the bedroom like it was made to go in there. Aside from all that I have been playing with Katrein and Julie her constant new companion (American Girl Doll), we have been doing a lot of sledding which she loves. Oh and I joined the local gym so I can get up at 4am now and go work my flabby ass off on the death machine (elliptical) and ride five miles (so far) on the bike. The doctor agreed these things would be a good idea to help deal with my chronic pain. So in no way is this post a complaint that I have been busy it’s just me sharing my bliss, sometimes busy is not bad, sometimes it’s just right!

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Excuses, Excuses…

I keep making excuses when anybody asks me “what ya been doing, you haven’t blogged?” or if asked like I was recently if I am slacking because unlike last year when I had a flurry of things to write about Christmas, this year I have done very few. I keep saying “Oh I’ve been busy.” but really have I? In reality, nope, no busier than last year. I mean I’m not doing nothing at all, I’m working and keeping the new house in shape and I have had some really busy weekends lately. So what have I been doing you may ask?

Well I have no real excuse except to say I haven’t been really drawn to write and I have been kind of short on money this year so I have been doing things with my kids (yes Markus is still MY kid, just not A kid.) for example Katrein and I made snowflakes, and all of us made and decorated sugar cookies, Markus is quite the cookie artist!

And well the usual Christmas things we have to do, oh I will just show you.

My little cutey is getting to be quite the dancer, she had a Jazz dance and a Hip Hop dance in this year’s Christmas recital. I wish I could upload a video but it never works for me, oh well it was a great show!

We had the Girl Scout Christmas dance this year again the ‘Snow Ball’, Markus did the DJ thing again which the girls just love!

Then we took our annual Christmas trip to Mall Of America, which Markus almost missed due to a trip to Urgent Care for a torn back muscle, but after a handful of drugs he was able to join us. Little does he know that his sister had me trapped in the new American Girl store for two hours before he arrived, which meant I also needed a handful of pills! (And a shot of whiskey)

Katrein is the daredevil child! (like me) so she had to check out the new rides that were added when the park became Nickelodeon Universe, like the SpongeBob Rock Bottom Plunge which not only goes upside down several times it goes straight up at the start and straight down!

Then this crazy ass ride that is just a U shaped track and as the “board” you are connected to flies back and forth, up and down your seat also is spinning!
Katrein’s face after ride

So these are just a few of the things I have been doing and this weekend will be no exception, with last minute shopping and trying to track down Santa Claus so Kate can see him it’s been busy but like I said I may have been doing a little slacking to….for the good of my family

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Spongebob to Sandy: Christmas Who?

There’s an older episode of Spongebob actually titled ‘Christmas Who?’ and my daughter and I love it because its where Spongebob learns all about Christmas and Santa from Sandy Cheeks the squirrel that resides in a glass bubble under the sea by Spongebob. Now the funny exchange they have goes something like this; Sandy lights a tree, Spongebob yells Fire! Sandy says “ain’t you ever seen a Christmas tree before/” and we get to the line “Christmas Who? Is she a friend of yours from Texas?” Well its quite funny and some of the expressions he makes are classic as he learns about “Chrrrrissstmasss”

Anywho I received an e-mail the other day and it was a poem like “Twas the Night before Christmas” it was pretty long so I will just summarize, it was all about how the government has taken the meaning out of Christmas, God out of schools and turned everything into a mockery with Winter break and Dream Trees. It isn’t something new either, when I hit Jr. High I remember them changing Christmas break and Easter Break to Winter and Spring, and I remember being in art class, our project was going to be a Christmas wreath, I remember the art teacher saying “If your family religion doesn’t celebrate Christmas or you don’t believe in Christmas we have an alternative project.” which just so happened to be a snow flake. The thing is we still were given a choice.

Fast forward to 1996, my son is about 10 and I begin to realize they no longer have Christmas decorations in the school, and they don’t have holiday parties. No Halloween with costumes so you can show them off before bundling up for Trick or Treat, no Christmas party with secret Santa gifts and cupcakes, no decorations of jolly old St. Nick or holly or reindeer or nothin’! Now its 2008 and people I talk to say this is the kind of thing that is happening everywhere, and not just that, they are trying to remove God from the pledge of allegiance? What’s going on?

The way I see it given enough time our children’s children or maybe grandchildren will be like Spongebob, Christmas Who? And I find that so sad for all the children, especially because my little girl loves Christmas and celebrating Jesus’ birthday, she even makes him a card each year and she was so proud in Kindergarten when she memorized the pledge of allegiance, and we talk about God and we share ideas about him.

See I am very lucky and so is my daughter, for apparently we have settled into our own little piece of nirvana. She wore her costume to the school Halloween party, and when I go there big as day on every class wall is the pledge of allegiance, God included, and every year they have a Christmas Tree and decorations everywhere and Santa visits and they have a real Christmas dinner the day of their Christmas party right before get this….there Christmas Break. And guess what? We have a very nice community, Carolers perform in the park and we have real sleigh rides around town, and people are friendly and kind, and we have virtually no crime, vandalism or violence. Hmmmm kind of makes me think this place I call home is the perfect place to raise a child right now because it sounds like the rest of this country is literally going to hell.

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You Know Somethings Wrong When I Only Have A Snowglobe

I have twittered it and I have grumbled about it to friends and family but now I am going to get it out of my system because every time I hear someone mention Black Friday it makes me grit my teeth and start bitchin’. Why you may inoocently ask? Why when anyone who knows me knows that this is one of my favorite days of the year? Well I will tell you why. In all the years (at least 12) that I have dragged my over turkey filled body out of bed at 3:00 am to drive to whatever store I would begin my freezing, shivering insane shopping trip I have always had a list and rarely didn’t get everything.

Now some years the list of deals I wanted was fairly small, other years like 2 years ago it was massive and I was 5 stores in at 3 minutes to eleven running to the checkout with the last huge deal on my list, I made it, and that year I saved well over five hundred dollars.

This year, well what can I say, the deals sucked and if they didn’t then they didn’t even come close to what I was looking for. So I had a very small list, 3 items as a matter of fact and I got one, and a lousy Mickey Mouse snowglobe I didn’t even want. Here’s just a little of the day I will call “The Worst Black Friday Ever!”

4am JC Penny- received snowglobe, looking for one item seen in ad, looking, still looking, rubbing bleery tired eyes, spot sales woman, ask “I saw a (censored til Christmas) in your ad, now I see you have (censored) but I can’t seem to find the (censored) one you show.”
Sales woman- “Oh we don’t actually carry those in the store, you would need to order that off line.” Me *looking baffled I’m sure* - ” Are you serious? I just drove like 60 miles and I could have just ordered it? And you don’t carry them?”
Sales woman- “Nope we don’t but if you order it online today you will get the same deal as the ad.” Me-*walking away, confused, tired, grumbling incoherantly.*

4:30am-6am Sitting outside of (censored store) waiting for them to open

6am Enter (censored store) instant success, duh theres knowone here.

7am Hook up with Markus at Office Depot?Max? find him at back of store waiting in a checkout line, dump his sister off with him and run to Target for last item I would like to get.

7:15am Battling insane amounts of people just talking and looking confused in the isles of Target, get to area of (censored item) and start looking, and looking, getting pushed and slammed into, still looking, getting pissed,….find sales…kid, ask “Where are the 60 dollar (censored)”
Kid- *points to area I’ve been looking at for ten minutes* ” They should be there.”
Me- “They are not.”
Kid- “Well they should be right there.” *pointing again*
Me- “But there not.”
Kid- “Oh they should be.”
Me “Yep, but there not.”
Kid- “Did you see them in the ad?”
Me- (thinking- No I made them up) “Yes, they were on the page with the (censored) right by the (censored).”
Kid- *looking smart*- “Oh well we don’t carry everything in the ad.”
Me- *WHAAA!?!?* (thinking- you are so lucky the crowd is pulling you away from me because I’m ready to throttle someone!!!)

8am-8:30am Waiting at IHOP for Markus,Larry and Sara,… and waiting and waiting.

8:30am Go to Office Depot?Max? arrive just as they are coming out the door crabbing about there own horrible Black Friday.

8:30-10am Waiting to eat a crappy, slow, coldish breakfast at a over stuffed resturant.

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Movin’ On Up

I obviously know a little bit about moving, but only because I just moved and possibly the thirty other times I moved in my life, but I will tell you something, know matter how many times you do move, it never gets any easier. People say that, but you know they are not kidding! Its a huge pain in the a** (you know what), packing, calling all the utilities, mail forwarding. These are just a few of the headaches and I only moved a mile or so from where I was.

What if you were moving to another state, or country? Sure you can hire movers, but who’s good? What if you have multiple vehicles to move? It can just get to be a bigger and bigger headache…unless you have some great new services to help you out. Say you had the one problem I mentioned, you are moving but have a vehicle that needs to get to your new home. Well now theres a one stop site that can handle your car transport while you tend to other things, like that giant truck containing your worldly posessions.

Thats only one small portion of this new service I found, Relocation.com is a fantastic site full of some of the most vital moving resources, like Real Estate, Apartment Hunting, Insurance, Careers, and Home Improvement. If you are wanting to move they have guides and information on everything you need to find a new location thats comfortable, or say you have to relocate for ‘personal’ reasons, they can help find you a city with a large population where you can hide…er…I mean live quietly. Know matter what your needs I am sure Relocation.com will have what your looking for.