Goodbye Cigarettes

I am taking the Chantix, I have been taking it for nine days now. Is it helping? Well yes and no. I had started this medication because I had heard such great success stories, and although I had read about a lot of bad side effects I was willing to try. I think part of the problem is I was hoping for a miracle drug, something that would just take the cravings away like I had never started the bad habit to begin with. No such luck, although it is helping, I crave cigarettes very little in comparison to a week ago and I can usually only finish half and it starts to taste nasty, but I also crave them badly at my usual times like after meals and when I first wake up.

So today I pulled the little card out of the box of pills and joined the Chantix quit smoking program, I should have joined right away but like I said I had hoped for a miracle and this isn’t that easy, so I started the program now that things are getting difficult. I am a little behind on some of the activities so I am playing catch up today. According to the program I have to be done smoking after the ninth day so my quit day is tomorrow, I followed the list of helpful activities, like throwing out all ash trays and cleaning my smoking areas, now I have to write a goodbye letter to my cigarettes, something I can look back on and see the reasons why I am doing this and give myself some inspiration, well I thought what better place then here where not only I can be inspired but maybe someone else will see it and it will help them, so here goes:

Goodbye Cigarettes
I am saying goodbye because I am tired of searching on the nightstand every morning for you and knocking over a glass of water onto my remote and books, I am saying goodbye because when I go to kiss my little girl she turns her head and says “Ew mommy you stink like a cigarette!” and soon she will be to old for me to give kisses to. I am saying goodbye because every time I want to sit with my son and talk he either covers his face with his shirt or he just leaves the room all together. I am saying goodbye because I listen to my kids cough and I know its because of me and second hand smoke. I am saying goodbye because I want to make my kids proud of me, most of all my son because I feel as though I let him down when he was little and to see him be proud of me would mean the world. I am saying goodbye because my boyfriend used to snuggle me and smell my hair and the last time he did he said it stunk of cigarettes. I am saying goodbye because I want to live!