The World Is My Oyster….But I Think I’m Allergic To Shellfish

I’m not going to say I’m back or make any promises to write steady…I want to but things in my life have changed so much. First and foremost the man I spent seven years with is no longer in my life. I could go on and on explaining all the reasons why but as I see it they are the same reasons so many couples just dont stay together and at this time its a moot point….things just happened…or didn’t. The thing is we were doing it amicably at least it started that way, planning a date he was looking for a new place I was lining up roommates then wham it happened two months earlier than planned and it was anything but amicable. Shit happens….that’s really all I have to say.

My 23 year old son also moved out…that’s harder to deal with because he’s my baby boy but he’s smart and I can bug him everyday. *smiles* But this post isn’t a diary of events that have happened or why I’m busy its a post of optimism, of new beginnings. I woke up the other day and cried…not out of sadness but because I had nothing to really be sad about, I won’t go so far to say I was happy but I felt okay, I also realized I was almost 40 and I still ask myself “what am I going to do with my life” well I kinda missed that boat twenty years ago, time to get over it and get on with it. So I came to terms with the fact that I’m a little old to be planning a career, or a new family, and maybe I will never be a rock star, but all the other things like traveling to Paris and Ireland and taking a cruise, walking on a tropical beach, hot air ballooning and taking my daughter to Disney World these are things that are all still possible, the only thing stopping me now is…me. I’ve lived so long for others, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, or just trying to do and be who I thought I was expected to be that I neglected to live my life, do ANYTHING that I wanted. So now is my chance, this is day one, I may not make it to Paris but I’m going to get as far as I can in the time I have left.